Beyond Imposter Syndrome: Unpacking Theories and Harnessing Personal Power

Let’s dive into a topic that’s been buzzing around a lot lately, and honestly, one I find quite intriguing as a topic but annoying as a mindset – imposter syndrome. It’s that sneaky voice in the back of your head questioning, “Am I really cut out for this?” especially when you’re navigating your role at work. Having juggled my Psychology studies while leading Product at a Decision Intelligence startup, I’ve been dancing at the crossroads where textbook theories and real-world experiences meet.

Now, you might wonder, why do we all get tangled up in this feeling of being an imposter? It seems to lurk around every corner, popping up just when we think we’ve got things under control. Well, it turns out, there’s a whole cocktail of psychological theories that help explain this phenomenon. But don’t worry, I promise to keep it light and digestible – no heavy academic jargon here! Let’s take a quick tour through some of these theories to understand why that imposter feeling is more common than we might think and how, surprisingly, it connects deeply with our basic human needs and desires.

• Attachment Theory by John Bowlby: Imagine if, from the moment we started toddling around, we had a little cheer squad following us, making us feel like the coolest kid on the block. That’s sort of what Bowlby’s Attachment Theory is all about – those early bonds we form that tell us, “You’ve got this!” These connections are our first fan club, setting up how secure and awesome we feel later on. So when we get a “Yay, you!” from someone close, it’s like a high-five to our soul, helping us shush those imposter whispers.
• Self-Determination Theory (SDT) by Deci and Ryan: Picture yourself as the hero of your own game, where the main quests are feeling in charge, skilled, and connected. SDT says these are the must-haves for feeling top-notch. When someone gives us a nod of approval, it’s like unlocking an achievement that boosts our in-game confidence stats, making us feel less like an imposter and more like the champion we are.
• Cognitive Dissonance Theory by Leon Festinger: Ever felt like you’re trying to walk in shoes that don’t quite fit because they belong to someone else’s idea of success? That’s the unease Festinger’s talking about. It’s when what we do, what we believe, and what we achieve don’t seem to match up. Getting a thumbs-up can help us feel like maybe those shoes fit just right after all, dialling down the mental tug-of-war and making our imposter syndrome take a back seat.
• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Maslow’s big idea is like a game of life-levelling up, where feeling loved and getting kudos are more than just nice-to-haves; they’re crucial power-ups. When we’re lacking in the ‘feeling awesome’ and ‘having buddies’ departments, we might start feeling like we’re not quite part of the guild. But when we do get those accolades and connections, it’s like levelling up in self-assurance, making those imposter syndrome boss battles a bit easier to tackle.

Imposter syndrome often manifests in ways that can deeply impact our professional and personal lives—chronic self-doubt, fear of failure, perfectionism, overworking, anxiety, stress, and sometimes, isolation. Interestingly, as we climb higher up the career ladder, the shadows of imposter syndrome can loom even larger. You’d think it gets easier, but the reality is quite the opposite. The higher you go, the less frequent the pats on the back become, and the scrutiny? Well, it only intensifies. This isn’t just anecdotal; it’s a reflection of the changing dynamics at play as you assume more responsibility and visibility. It’s a peculiar irony of professional advancement—one that underscores the importance of developing internal validation rather than relying solely on external affirmation.

Recognising these signs is crucial, but it also leads us to a pivotal moment: realising that understanding the problem is the first step towards transforming our approach to it.

Let’s pivot to a fresh perspective…

Amidst the sea of discourse surrounding the pitfalls of imposter syndrome, discovering Steven Bartlett’s outlook felt like a breath of fresh air. He acknowledges the complexities of navigating imposter syndrome, especially as responsibilities mount and external validation becomes scarcer. Rather than seeing imposter syndrome as a looming, insurmountable wall or a source of endless anxiety, Steven invites us to view it through a lens of opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. This shift in narrative—from being anchored by self-doubt to actively engaging in self-development—opens up a new realm of possibilities for how we perceive and navigate our feelings of inadequacy.

Steven argues that the feelings of inadequacy or fraudulence often associated with imposter syndrome can actually serve as powerful motivators to push ourselves beyond our comfort zones. Rather than being a sign that we don’t belong, these feelings can indicate that we are on the cusp of learning and growth. They remind us that there is always more to learn and room to improve, which is a positive aspect of our professional journeys. By embracing the questions and uncertainties that come with imposter syndrome, we can embark on a quest for knowledge, seeking out new skills and experiences that enhance our competence and confidence. This perspective encourages us to view every challenge as a chance to grow, every setback as an opportunity to learn, and every success as a step towards becoming more adept in our roles.

This takes me back to an epic TED talk by Kelly McGonigal on stress, which feels a lot like imposter syndrome’s cousin. She shared how viewing stress as a helpful buddy, rather than a foe, can boost our health and happiness (definitely worth a watch: Kelly McGonigal, “How to make stress your friend,” TEDGlobal 2013). Kelly challenges the conventional wisdom that views stress as inherently harmful. Kelly presents compelling research suggesting that our perception of stress significantly influences its impact on our health and well-being. By embracing stress as a positive force that can enhance our performance and resilience, we can transform our relationship with stress, turning it into a catalyst for growth and empowerment.

She emphasises that when we view stress responses as helpful, we can build courage and connect with others more deeply, leveraging stress as a resource for achieving our goals. Her talk not only shifts the narrative around stress but also offers a powerful framework for rethinking other aspects of our lives where fear and anxiety hold us back, such as imposter syndrome. By applying her insights, we can learn to harness the energy of our stress and imposter feelings as a force for positive change, growth, and self-improvement.

After embracing the empowering perspectives shared by Steven Bartlett and Kelly McGonigal, we’re poised to tackle another pivotal aspect of our journey: diminishing our need for external approval. This relentless pursuit of external validation can often amplify our feelings of imposter syndrome, as we hinge our self-worth on the feedback and recognition from others. But what if we could shift that focus inward?

Working on your need for approval involves a deliberate shift towards self-validation. It’s about acknowledging your achievements, trusting in your capabilities, and recognising that your value does not diminish because of a lack of external praise or the presence of criticism.

So… ready to tackle your feelings?

Here are some empowering steps for personal growth and overcoming these negative feelings that have helped me in the past and continue to do so:

• Celebrate Your Journey: Regularly jot down achievements and reflect on your growth. This practice boosts self-awareness and reinforces a solid sense of self-worth, independent of external validation.
• Define Your Own Success: Establish personal benchmarks based on your values and goals. Success is deeply personal; what matters most is how you perceive your own progress and fulfilment.
• Embrace Growth and Challenges: Treat every challenge as a growth opportunity. Step outside your comfort zone to discover new strengths and learn from setbacks. The real magic happens when you push beyond the familiar, opening doors to new experiences and insights.
• Seek Feedback and Learn: Actively seek constructive feedback, not as a means for approval but as a tool for learning and improvement. This mindset shift is crucial for personal development and mastering new skills.
• Practice Kindness and Resilience: Be as compassionate to yourself as you would be to a friend. Understand that setbacks are part of the learning process. Resilience is built by not giving up; remember, every day is a chance to make progress and learn.
• Foster Supportive Connections: Engage with peers who share your experiences. A supportive community can offer valuable perspectives, making the journey less isolating and more enriching.

By incorporating these streamlined steps into your approach, you can build a robust foundation for dealing with imposter syndrome and the challenges of personal and professional growth. It’s about recognising your own value, embracing the journey of continuous learning, and finding strength in the community and self-reflection.

As International Women’s Day approaches, it’s crucial to remember that support and empowerment extend beyond those who identify as women. Men and others in our organisations play a vital role in fostering an environment where everyone can thrive. Active support can take many forms, from advocating for equitable policies and opportunities, mentoring and sponsoring women and non-binary colleagues, to challenging and dismantling gender biases and stereotypes when we see them. It’s about listening to, respecting, and amplifying diverse voices and experiences, ensuring that everyone feels valued and heard.

By working together, we can create a more inclusive and supportive workplace where every individual feels empowered to chase their dreams, tackle hurdles, and shine in their achievements. This collective effort is what truly drives progress and paves the way for a future where everyone, regardless of gender, is bound for greatness.

Article tagged with: Brainnwave, equality, Imposter Syndrome, IWD, IWD2024, women